Life Lessons

6 Powerful Ways to Detect if You have a Friend or an Enemy!

Friendship is a bond between two souls; it is a connection that allows free-spirit and love. But what really are the characteristics of a true friend? 
Keep this in mind first and foremost – NO MAN is perfect, only God so just like there is no perfect relationship, there is no perfect friendship.

 

F – FAITHFUL. A friend is supposed to be there for you when you NEED that person. I remember going through a terribly phase in my life where I basically had nowhere to live and my best friend, when heard of it, acted right away. She offered me her bed immediately. That is friendship –being there for someone when you can. As I quoted earlier, we are not perfect and sometimes when a person needs you, you can’t afford to be there due to other constraints but a friend won’t see a friend falling and not run to catch him/her if they can. So faithfulness is extremely important in friendship as it is the core on which friendship is built and maintained.

R – REAL. A friend is supposed to be real with you and you be real with him/her. You are supposed to feel comfortable being who you really are around your friend!!! When I am in the company of people I casually have a conversation with, I am not really me as I don’t know the person inside out but when among my friends, I laugh, I play and I am me because that is where my comfort –zone is. Now I am not saying I am fake with others because I am not but it is just a different vibe I get around the people I know have my best interest at heart and I love dearly where I can basically kick up my feet or let my hair down and just be me. Ensure that the people you call friends are not those you have to pretend around. A friend is supposed to encourage you to be real inside out.

I – INTEGRITY.This one is the BOSS of friendship. A friend must BE HONEST!  I have heard this joke several times and never once did I laugh “that girl must not have a friend or a mirror”. It is not funny because, I dislike when people compliment something when it doesn’t deserve to be and too often the fakers will tell their friends try this or do this when they KNOW it will fail or they KNOW it doesn’t look right but they allow their friend to reflect a distasteful image because it makes them look good!!! Integrity is being honest within you and with others, it is telling the truth at all cost. If you have a friend who tells you all the time you are right, dismiss that person from your life as that person is not your friend but a downright enemy. NO one is right all the time and no one does what is right all the time, we all need correction at some point and a friend is supposed to be upright in principle and decorum and bold enough to tell you that what you are about to do, you will regret.

E – ENCOURAGING.A friend is supposed to remind you who you are and of your destiny when you feel like you want to give up. My best friend did that for me for most of my life. She was constantly telling me I was above my trial and I could do this and she believed in me. Now, I am not saying that it is a responsibility of a friend as every soul on this earth is responsible to push themselves but sometimes we need a little push from others and that is what friends do. A friend is supposed to not only be there in difficult times but help you up to arise to your destiny. Anyone in your life that calls their self a friend to you but watches your downfall and do nothing is NOT a friend! I repeat, that person is NOT your friend. A friend builds you not tears you apart.

N – NURTURING.  We all need this one especially in times when your heart is broken. A friend is supposed to comfort your pain. I am not saying you should go jump in your friend’s arms as I know there exist friendship between men and women and this can be dangerous if you don’t understand this concept.  A friend can nurture you by allowing you to unleash your pain in conversation or tears. That is the nurturing I am referring to. I will say this however with no apology, if you want to ruin a friendship (I am referring to man and woman here), get intimate. I know friendship is important in a relationship as some have tried it and it worked out perfectly so I am not discounting that. But when you called someone your “sibling” and you find yourself in a compromising situation, run from it – you will destroy that bond later on.

D – DESTINED. I strongly believe you don’t have to do anything for someone to stay in your life. I strongly believe that if someone loves you unconditionally, they will stand by your side for a lifetime. If you find yourself buying friendship and there are many ways persons do this – taking others out to dinner for love and acceptance, constantly buying gifts or even to be heavily laden with the person’s responsibilities, I will say this – you are being used! You don’t have to do nothing for someone who loves you to stay by your side; you do acts of kindness because you love the person but not expecting. A TRUE friend is a destiny KNOT so don’t buy anyone’s friendship when person out there are willing to love you without a cost!

 

Friendship must have the above characteristics but if you find that the close friendships you are having is lacking three or more of the characteristics, dismiss that person from your closed circle of friends. I won’t tell you to hate others as I am an avid love guru but I will say dismiss (keep distance) from those persons immediately.

Have meaningful friendships but make GOD your NUMBER 1 FRIEND!

 

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