Are you really ready for a new relationship?
Are you healed from the wounds of your past?
Below are three(3)
steps on how to work on yourself, how to seek clarity before getting into another relationship and exactly what to do. So if you are in a new relationship with hang-ups over your last and you find yourself combating the past with the present, follow these three (3) simple steps.
VENT. Either you journal it, scream it out, cry it out but whatever you do, LET IT OUT. I once had a friend who vented by breaking glass and people would stare at her and probably think she was crazy but when I analysed it, it was her way of releasing all her anxiety and anger.
She was letting out her hurt. I encourage people to let out their anger, not to harm anyone but to find a way of letting things out and GO! If you miss this step, you will defeat the entire journey of moving on with your life. I will add this, if you ignore this step, you will find yourself comparing your current partner with your ex and you will find yourself arguing with your partner thinking it was better with your ex. This is extremely unhealthy and this is particularly why I encourage persons to handle their “dirty laundry” or their past before jumping into a new relationship. Stop taking unwanted luggage with you (no wonder some persons are so depressed). You walk around with things people did to you for years and you keep adding more and more and more. VENT!!! Let it out and let it go because trust me when I say this, the person you sit and carry regrets for, has move passed you and beyond. VENT!
MEDITATE. You must have space in your life for meditation. This is critical because it is where you will find peace and also where you will see the mistakes you have made and ways to not repeat them. Mediation is so powerful, it can make you see the impossible as real. I urge you to allow this step to take you to a higher level in your life. So how do I meditate? If this is your question, here is your solution. First thing is that you need to find a place where noise is confined and the only thing you can hear is your heartbeat against nature. I have a corner in my home where I sit and I listen. I sometimes end up crying when I listen because it is where I find solace in my own mental space and where I see my life like a movie on a screen before me. Find a corner or an environment extremely quiet and sit, breathe and say nothing; just listen. Meditation is listening and saying nothing. Do this for your own good. It will relax you and you will see life differently, guaranteed.
MOVE ON. Whatever anyone has done to you that caused you hurt and grief and pain and regrets – let it go! Let it fly and let it go. How do I let it go? This is guaranteed to help you to let things go. After meditation, simply get yourself a notepad or sheets of paper — WRITE OUT EVERYTHING including the names of those who caused you hurt. After you have done this, READ IT and RIP it to pieces. Gather the pieces and find a dumpster and let it go right there. NEVER LOOK BACK!!!
These steps helped me to recover from looking back as I was doing so for many years. I realized that my life was becoming a cycle of pain and regrets and I had to either do something or let something do me. I took the first option and went on a voyage to self-discovery and ultimately healing. I hope this helps with your healing so you can get back to a loving relationship with your partner and ultimately with God and yourself.
Now to those who are looking to get involved with another partner but still have some unfinished business with their past, HOLD YOUR BRAKES RIGHT THERE! To handle what is coming, you must first handle your past. The steps above apply to you also but know this, if you do not handle your past, it will surely destroy your present and most definitely your future. Sit and meditate, let out your grief and hurt and let it fly then move forward. A relationship is not a game, it is spending your life with another soul and believe me when I say that life is short. We don’t have time to play “Barbie & Ken”. This is real and the sooner you handle your issues, you will realize how precious life is, and how important having a relationship within the present moment is, and you will make wise decisions dealing with present conflicts as you will use love to guide your words and ultimately your actions.