The notion of infatuation against intimate love and love are often confused by persons and so when they “feel” a particular way about more than one person, they go crazy thinking they are in love with so and so when really they are just misled on what being in love with someone actually looks like. Let us shine some light on this matter by dissecting the following:
- · Love
- · Being in love/ Intimate Love
- · Infatuation
If you ask the people around you what love is, they will inform you that love is a feeling that can’t be described. I will have you know that love is not a feeling; not an emotion. It is rather an intangible journey that you live – it is something you do. Love is a decision. Now, you can love everyone but you can’t be in love with more than one person. Love as stated is something you do by choice. You wake up every morning and you choose if you should forgive someone by loving them and if you desire to hate, nothing can alter that. A prime example is God’s love. God loves us because He chooses to do so and He showed that in His giving of Jesus Christ His only son to save sinners from unrelenting fire in hell. Accordingly, God instructed us to obey His commands but He did something else, He gave freewill for man to make his own choice if he should obey or disobey. This was a powerful act of love. Love doesn’t force you to do something, it makes you decide. It allows you to choose.
When you are in love on another hand, it drives you to do things freely that you never saw yourself doing. Being in love requires a deep intimacy between two souls that takes you beyond the universe and into a world where it is you and your lover. It innately requires loyalty, trust and sex that ties the bond perfectly.
- · You know you are in love with someone when you put their wants before your priorities.
- · You know you are in love when you see it necessary to be 100% open about who you are and never to lie or withhold information.
- · You know you are in love when you see it an extreme necessity to be 100% faithful to one individual.
- · You know you are in love when you see a future with this one individual.
- · You know you are in love when you make love to this person, your body instantly becomes one with him/her – you feel a deep connection that goes beyond pleasure.
Being in love is not a choice. When you meet this ONE, you are drawn and drawn in such a manner that you know it is not infatuation but love because you are ready to sacrifice your very life for this person without hesitation.
Infatuation is often mistaken for intimate love as it shares some of the same components but
undermines real intimate love. Infatuation has one powerful factor that differentiates it from intimate love. Infatuation dies. I am sure one and two persons can relate to this – Have you ever met someone you thought you would marry because you were so drawn but within a month or two, you find yourself wanting to slap yourself? YES, I am sure some persons answer is YES. Simply put, it wasn’t intimate love and as such, it perishes.
- · You know you are infatuated when think every minute about the person.
- · You know you are infatuated when you always wanting to be around the person.
- · You know you are infatuated when you call the person just to say hi and nothing more.
- · You know you are infatuated when you get jealous knowing the person may be around someone else.
We all get this feeling at the conception of a relationship and we conclude that we are in love when truth be told, we are just obsessed with something new but truth is, it will fade.
You cannot be in love with two persons as this would reflects infidelity and also promotes promiscuity. You can however be infatuated with ten different persons because infatuation fades over time. Infatuation prepares you and as such you will think you met the one and in a month or two, that relationship fades with its emotions because you were at the preparation stage. For example, a girl of sixteen (16) years may have a poster of Actor Orlando Bloom stuck to the roof of the bedroom and she looks at it every time she lays down and smiles to herself. When she gets to age twenty-six (26), she meets “Dane” and suddenly, he is forgotten as she starts having a real bond in an intimate way she never thought existed. What happen is when she was sixteen (16), she thought she was in love but what she felt was infatuation as she was being prepared by her emotions to be in a relationship with Dane. She starts to see real intimacy in a real relationship in which she starts to invest quality time and what eventually happen is she will enter intimate love. It is impossible to give your soul to thousands, unless you are omnipotent and since you are a limited resource, your heart can be shared with everyone but your soul belongs to one – the one you chooses to spend your life with.
Be careful you are not giving your life to someone you are infatuated with. But even if you are, it will fade soon as real intimate love can and will never fade or perish!