Do you know what is missing in relationships today?
- – Did you say sexual connections?
- – Did you say trust?
- – Did you say communication?
The one thing that is missing in relationships today is LOVE! Why is love missing? Simply because we have become quasi-gods and we execute judgement on others before actually knowing the true colours of a person. We enter into relationships with our insecurities and our beliefs that makes us judge others and what that does, is destroy what could be beautiful. I must say this, you can’t judge someone unless you are ready to be judged and if you are, be ready for the results!
Let us shed some light on your darkness in two (2) parts in how to really get into another person’s life.
When you meet someone, EMPTY your mind of all beliefs that surrounds negativity and fear. Get to know someone and be guided by your heart. Sometimes you have to be drastic and even distance yourself from your family and friends during this process because the advice these friends and family might think will help, will actually destroy. Learn to listen to your heart. Don’t allow fear to persuade you to make judgments which can result in your opportunity at being loved by a perfectly imperfect soul, far-fetched. If you struggle with a horrific past, it is best you spend time meditating – healing that brokenness within before you go searching for another partner. If this is not done, you will enter into a new relationship with old baggage which will aid in your thoughts being judgemental. You will find yourself accordingly thinking that your current partner is just like the one from your past but I will say this without apologies – no one is like another so quit all the judgements and pre-conceived notions. God knew exactly what He was doing when He created man and woman. He could have made two men but He made a man and a woman simply because He wanted diversity in all of its essence. So you must empty your head and when you date someone, take note of their morals and beliefs and how they actually live and not necessarily how they tell you how they live. Get into the person life and not just their mind.
GET INTO THE LIFE of the person. No one is going to lay out their life on the table on the first date. It is just impossible! You have to invest the time and it is not just about going on dates but it is getting to know the person. You do this without any list of characteristics or criterion but just be led by your heart by spending time going on dates and having fun but you must also spend time away from crowds and restaurants (I am not talking about the bedroom).
Spend time alone with the person and invest in having meaningful conversations and even silly ones because you are diving into the person’s inner-core/soul. It is within these moments, you will see dimensions because all those ‘butterflies’ in the stomach would have died and what remain is reality which means that you have no other option than to be yourself. When you are you, the other party can be who they are comfortably and it is within that arena, a conclusion can be made if the relationship is healthy and will live.
You will know it is healthy when you can be you and feel comfortable being you around the other party.
- You will know it is healthy when you can have conversations like the other party is your best friend.
- You will know it is healthy when there is an issue, you can sit and talk through it instead of screaming matches.
- You will know it is healthy when you are made a priority in the other party’s life and not just an option.
If your relationship is lacking these, get it healthy.
Don’t be too hasty to end it and move on – FIX IT! And you do this by simply implementing the steps outlined. Don’t make a judgement. Get to know people as we all have a story to share. So before you quickly make a judgement on another soul, look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself – are you perfect.