A relationship is an intimate bond between two. But what happens when distance steps in, can we still say we are in a relationship? If I date someone else when my partner lives in another country, am I really cheating? Let us talk about long-distant relationship and really indulge in its core.
As stated above, a relationship is an intimate bond but to be more frank, a relationship is really a contract.
When you sign a contract with an organization, it is expected that you will pull your weight and carry out duties/tasks agreed on. When the objectives agreed on are not met, there are some consequences but it doesn’t change the agreement. Accordingly, relationship is on the same level. When you get involved with someone and for some reason or another, they have to migrate or travel to another country for an extended time, it doesn’t change the contract. You are still within a relationship and so it is expected that faithfulness will be exercised. But how can this be exercised when someone is living within a different country? Highly impossible. It strongly recommended that persons break off from such relationships as it puts a strain on you mentally and physically. Once you have established that you are no longer in a relationship, then you are free to date.
As human beings, we desire intimacy as no one was created to be alone, NO ONE! We all desire comfort and love and physical touch – it is the reason we exist and survive. When this is lacking, it makes you vulnerable and it is possible to find yourself in some act(s) you wouldn’t normally entertain or you find yourself being intimate with someone you will wake up in the morning and wonder how this person ended up in your bed beside you.
Long-distant relationships are dangerous and not easy to handle and maintain. As I said we desire comfort, love and physical touch. How can you attain those when someone is miles away from you? It is impossible! You can’t touch someone through Skype and surely a phone call can’t hold you.
Trust is another imperative factor as surely, your trust for your beloved partner will dwindle away over time. It is hard to trust someone who is within the same house, how can it be easy to trust someone who is miles away? That too is impossible. With these demands on long-distant relationship, it puts a strain on the individuals and that is exactly why such relationships are best be fixed or be left alone.
To really fix such a relationship, one partner has to make a decision to live within their partner’s country or place of abode to really work such relationship. So, if your partner has to study or work abroad for an extended period, then the other partner has to decide to migrate which means one partner has to really make a sacrifice. But that is what love is – it is making someone a priority (putting their needs before your own). If it is that the relationship means that much to both parties, some serious decisions has to be made to really make it work.
Long-distant relationship can be present within the same house shared between a couple as a couple will have different rooms and it is really like a brother and sister type of setting.
When this type of long-distant bonding happens, it is time to really do an assessment and make some decisions as to whether the relationship can heal and deal or resolve to dissolve. It makes no sense to live with someone who you are supposed to be in an intimate contract with and it is like living with yourself! This is a definite NO-NO! When this occurs, there need to be an intervention where both individuals have a serious conversation on what is really happening and how it can be addressed. Consequently, be reminded that as human beings we crave comfort, love and physical touch and if these are not given in an intimate relationship, it is guaranteed one or both partners will (not might) cheat.
Conclusively, long-distant relationships are not healthy and should not be endorsed as it really change the shades of what a relationship should be. Long-distant relationships shadows major issues such as depression, loneliness and most importantly, infidelity. Healthy relationships where both individuals benefits from dating and ultimately mating is effective when both partners share common spaces. Persons who are in long-distant relationships should not be despaired as there are solutions, one of which is to make a decision to live where your partner live or if it is that your partner lives within the same country but there is a clearly an emotional distance between you both, that you execute an intervention. But to those who are looking outside their zones, stop as you will embark upon a rocky street. At the end of everything, the decision is really yours but when making such a decision, be REAL with yourself.