So it can be concluded that most women dream and plan the day they will walk down the aisle. Of course, there will always be exceptions to the rules but most women mark the day they will marry the man they love as the most important day of their life. While this is extremely romantic and admirable for the ladies, for the men it is a HUGE step and with that, FEAR becomes a deal-breaker. Marriage is the most important institution and it is simply because God stands in the middle. Marriage is a bond shared between man and woman that clearly dictates that a man must be faithful and loving to his wife and that a woman must honor and love her husband through good and bad. God never intended for man to file for divorce. God wanted marriage not only to be seen as the ultimate step in one’s life but to be the catalyst for His will to be done. He said one can put a thousand to flight but two can chase ten thousand. Meaning, when you are in a partnership, it is supposed to strengthen your physical and ultimately, your spiritual zeal. God created marriage as a means to keep order and to give man a partner for companionship and ultimately unconditional love. Accordingly, it must not be negated that it is within this institution, God exercise His spiritual power through LOVE. However, today, we see marriage as a contract and a fanfare and so, weddings are now the event of the year and as stated above, women tend to put more emphasis on the wedding, losing the real essence of what marriage is and as a result, some men withdraw and some run as fast as Usain Bolt once it is mentioned.
While there is absolutely nothing wrong with the fantasy of creating your wedding day into a fairy-tale, GOD MUST be in the centre! Most times the fancy weddings lead to divorces in a short time-span simply because we focus on the wedding day than our actual spouse and the marriage. Below are three (3) guidelines to prepare you for the ultimate decision of your life – marriage.
Guideline #1 – BE SURE! You must spend time evaluating if this is the man or woman you desire to give your life to and for. Don’t be fooled by the handsomeness and the charm. Evaluate for yourself if it is real love. The question to really ask yourself to know for sure if this is the person you want to spend your life with is – “What does he do for me?” It is not about pampering you or taking care of you. What this really mean is – does he or she motivates you, is he or she your best comfort, is he or she the one you can vent on without being judged, can you trust him or her with your heart, does he or she push you to the highest level of your potentials. This is what you need to ask yourself and if the answer to most or all are yes, you are sure.
Guideline #2 – Are you a wife-material? Are you a husband-material? It sounds nice to say Mrs. & Mr. but it is more than a title, it is a lifestyle. You have to be a wife or a husband before you actually get married. How to know this – well it is simple.
Can you cook a meal? Can you wash and iron? Do you have what it takes to be faithful?
Can you take care of a man’s or a woman’s intimate desires?Marriage is more than romance because surely most women and men have the ability to seduce, sexually perform and ultimately knows how to satisfy sexually. Marriage requires a soul commitment.
Guideline #3 – Can you commit FOREVER? It is all good and well to say yes until the real test begins. When you think you are in love, you will make promises and even swear on everything that you won’t break them and a few months or even years after, those promises start to lose its shine. God never intended for a man to leave his wife and that is why it is important you ensure you are ready to be wed, you are husband/wife-material and that you are loyal. Love doesn’t abuse and love is loyal. But if it is that you have a partner that works hard to take care of you and because of that, he or she seldom forgets to give his or her time, ride it out with that person, if it is you have a man or a woman that sometimes forget to compliment your new look, ride it out with that person. Unless it is on the basis of unfaithfulness or abuse, stick it out. Always remember, relationship goes in strides and it won’t be fairy-tales all day every day.
That line when the Pastor says – for better or for worse, it is real. You have to know that no matter what happens, you will fight it through the battles. Now, I strongly believe that a man who is unfaithful must be dismissed and a man who is abusive must be dismissed. That is why it is imperative that you spend the time and cultivate a transparent and healthy relationship with your partner.
SO … if you have these guidelines belted around your waist, then take your walk down the aisle. Be reminded marriage is not a wedding. It is suggested that you have a nice simple wedding and save the money you were going to blow on the wedding for the future of you and yours.