Relationships are always so pleasurable when initiated – you feel the butterflies and the jitters, you daydream more than you breathe, and you become totally consumed by the thoughts of a future with this individual. But reality is, it won’t always be like that because our emotions fluctuate and our emotions influence how we relate.
Arguments will flare, disagreements will flare and even dislike will blossom and it is perfectly normal. Yes, it is perfectly normal.
Some couples even take it to breaks and breakups. A relationship is like a garden. For you to reap, you have to spend time to sow and to nurture. But even when doing all this, the garden can sometimes become a desert and that is just life. When this happen, do you forget it and move on to another garden that will eventually dry down also? If so, your life will be a cycle. Because something is broken, doesn’t mean it can’t be repaired and treasured. It can. Below are three (3) steps how to revive a failing relationship.
Step 1: Pull out all weeds. This means go on a time-out! You can’t work on issues if your issues are fighting you. You need to retreat and heal the open wounds before you can jump back on the battlefield. Go on a time-out where you spend time with you and sometimes, try to spend time ALONE. While on this time-out both partners need to look within and see where they went wrong. PULL out every weed. If it is verbal warfare – pull it out, if it is lying – pull it out etc. Jesus said, you cannot pour new wine in old skins because surely, the wine will break it to pieces. So it is with relationship. You have to pull out the thorns and weeds and completely start ANEW.
Step 2: Plant NEW seeds. So once the break is over and both partners have spent the time meditating on events and looking at their own faults and have healed and ready to go again, then do so on a clean slate. Please do not bring up the past! The past is there to teach not judge, just take the lesson and get over it. Leave the past where it belongs. In essence, start a new relationship and this time, slow the game down and spend the necessary time to carefully plant new traits in your relationship.
Step 3: Try new ways of nurturing. It could be that before, you did give the relationship the best care but it fell apart. Don’t be afraid to try new things so your new relationship won’t look too much like the last. For example, if it is that your partner doesn’t like when you are demanding things beyond measures, try to be more compassionate. So before you use anger, use love. A lot of persons say that is easier said than done. NO IT IS NOT! It is simply a choice. If you love someone, you try not to hurt them, you use instead your discretion and compassion. In essence, you transform yourself into being self-less.
It is never too late to start over once you breathe. Stay committed.