It is totally understandable when someone who is not sure if they desire to enter into a relationship, decides to stay on the fence for safety. It is however dangerous if you allow yourself to remain on the fence. Gentlemen, if you see someone and you are interested to pursue, it is highly imperative to admire but admire in a manner that opens up the person to you. Admiration doesn’t necessarily mean watching with the eyes only but it also means opening a door to possible friendship. You will know someone when you spend time to dig deep beyond what the eyes see because most times what the eyes see juxtaposes what is within the soul of that person. For example, a man will look at a woman he considers beautiful and immediately jumps to the conclusion that she is the unfaithful type. When he gets to know her, he realizes after several months that she is more than faithful but actually filled with a lot of love and compassion within. Ladies, if it is that you see a man that pulls the core of your soul to him, don’t keep it within but at the same time, don’t become a “man-shark”. For example, you went to an event and you saw Tom and realized he works at your company. You like Tom so you decide to pursue him by sending him gifts and constantly messaging, stalking etc. This will definitely scare Tom to death from you. Another scenario is, you see Tom, and you like Tom but decide to wait on Tom to move to you. What if Tom NEVER makes a move? These scenarios are both extreme. Females must be LADIES and men must be GENTLEMEN.
So below are guidelines as to how to remove the barriers and open the door to a possible HEALTHY relationship:
Step #1: Observe and open the communication portal. A lot of persons are waiting on God to open the sky and drop a man/woman before them. Unfortunately, God doesn’t operate in that manner. He give opportunities and point you in the direction for you to see. Now, if you close your eyes to it, blame no one when you are lonely and miserable. When you see someone you are attracted to, move to them and start a light conversation. If they doesn’t warm up to it, then disappear. If they do, then open up the communication portal by exchange of numbers/email addresses/social media.
Step #2: Casual dating. After a few weeks of getting to know “light” details about each other, it is perfectly safe to go on casual dates like a walk in the park or dinner or even lunch. Share lives! If after a few dates, you realize that this person is totally incompatible, be respectful about breaking off any possibilities of a relationship. But if the person meet several of your standards, then dating each other more should be endorsed.
Step #3: Cultivating a relationship. A relationship is not emotions totally, it is a decision. So after dating for several months and both parties are comfortable being true to who they are, then they both need to make a decision to be with each other which means total commitment. This will require serious investment of time, respect and ultimately your heart.
Dating has become some sort of faux marriage where a man is benefiting by receiving husband hospitality and a woman is benefiting by attaining the wife’s welfare. Dating is the stage where you get to know if someone is compatible or not – it is not a relationship! So, if you desire a healthy relationship, you have to put in the sweat to reap the fruits of your labour.