Arguments are normal to human beings as there are no two human beings alike. Because of this known fact, it is more likely for persons to disagree but there are ways to agree to disagree in a respectful and tactful manner that will resonate in effective communication which is integral to healthy intimate relationship building.
Below are three (3) ways to argue effectively!
1: Learn to LISTEN! A lot of times, we tend to hear but not listen and with that comes a string of other issues when you could have simply agree to disagree with what the person said. Listening is extremely important in communication because if the message is not decoded correctly based on what was conveyed, the wrong feedback can sabotage any possible healthy relationship.
2: Reflect on what is being said. When you listen, don’t be too quick to launch an attack. Some persons even pre-construct their response before the other person finish expressing their feelings. This can cause major arguments and it can be avoided if one chooses to simply listen and THINK before responding. For example, your partner is on his/her phone at midnight talking on WhatsApp and you are aware of this because you too were up late watching his/her WhatsApp profile. Accordingly, you express your discomfort due to the time he/she was last seen and your partner immediately retaliates by saying that you too were online. This is not effective arguing and this can lead into persons either being insecure or chose to malice their partner. What one could do in a situation as this is to communicate why one was online and what the other party could do is LISTEN, THINK and then respond respectfully. Being revengeful or playing the Tic-for-Tat game will only destroy a possible healthy bond.
3: Stick to the issue at hand. Most times, persons wait until a simple disagreement shows itself and then other issues that were seen as non-factors are now on the table. That is not effective arguing, that is an attack. Learn to express how you feel on a matter that is before you and leave things of the past to the past.
4: Avoid avoidance! Putting off a discussion/conversation that surrounds an issue can do more harm than good. Studies have shown that most men struggle with confrontation. Instead of sitting and talking about issues, men rather it is laid to rest and they do this by saying nothing and showing disinterest and some even vent in anger and abuse. It is therefore best when issues arise, they are dealt with immediately.
5: Seek solutions instead of prolonging arguments. It is always best to end all disagreements with respect and solutions. It is okay not to like everything your partner does or says and it is also okay to disagree on matters. It is however recommended that instead of ending arguments/disagreements in malice or anger, it is best to soothe things over with respect and a solution.
Always remember that no one on this earth is exactly like you even though some may resemble you. For this reason, expect persons to see things differently than you and show respect for their uniqueness just as you expect them to respect yours.